Breaking up the love utopia. Not for hardcore people, but especially for soft-hearted ones. Or how love can destroy you for good if you place yourself where you don’t belong.
Before you start hating me, let me tell you this : I loved too. I loved with all my heart, I loved more that I cared about myself, I went through hell and worse for my “soul mate”, I was willing to go wherever with him, I put myself second, I started to believe all that he was saying bad about me…WOW WOW WOW, wait a lil’! At what point did I stopped talking about love and started to talk about self-destruction? The lines are very blurry. YES, love CAN and WILL be self-destructing if you don’t know to what you put yourself up to or if the partner is toxic, or both. I know people that would perfectly match yet there is something that stands in their way. And that is LIFE standing right between them, also known as God, and it does not allow them to ever meet. And it’s safe to say that He knows best, it doesn’t really matter what you think. I am not saying all of this because I am over love, or because I hate humans and I stay in my little corner and I throw rocks at people. No, I am decently happy with everything, even though my wounds are still in the process of healing. But I learned a lot, that what hurt will do to ya, and here it is:
- perspective of perfect
No one is perfect. But yet love makes us think that he or she is. What’s up with that? The fact that they are so dear to us, that we are attached to that person, that they fit our standards erases everything else bad or not pleasant.
Getting over their rude temper just because.
This is more common that you would think. You just assume that it is ok for them to act like that, and you just act accordingly. In the worst manner also, because it can really turn into bullying, and ultimately it can destroy you emotionally. If you are someone that prefers to think that they will change because you know them better, well, you couldn’t be more wrong. If they don’t act like that in the first place, that is there isn’t much that you can do. People change because they want to, not because you believe they will.
- letting them belittle you
That is really close to bullying, only that it doesn’t really seem like bullying at first. It doesn’t leave a mark or a scar, like words and indifference leaves, but nonetheless it creates a deep abysss between what you think you are and what he think you are, and soon enough that abyss gets littler until his opinions about you translates into your opinion about yourself. And might I say that if it is a destructive opinion, it’ll leave you marked real good.
Now you are going to ask “Who stays in such a relationship? I would never do that”. And to that I say “Don’t count your sheeps…”…
….to be continued